Chapter Eighty-Four: Parrot

The matter of the polearm was thus cheerfully suppressed by the emperor.

Several days later, the moment Chen Bo stepped outside, he ran into a fiery red bird. More precisely, a fiery red pigeon.

Without a word, Chen Bo pulled a longsword from his system storage, rubbed his empty stomach, and grinned. “Heaven really is looking out for me. I was just thinking about breakfast, and out pops such a plump pigeon.”

“Other than the feathers being a little unusual, this pigeon looks like a chick that’s only just over a month old. More than enough for me to eat.”

The fire pigeon, which had been about to speak, froze in place. This human, this human actually wanted to eat it, Lord Fire?! Damn it all, in the capital, aside from those few standing at the very top of power, who among the rest would not respectfully call it Lord Fire when they saw it?

And now this brat, with milk still wet on his lips, actually wanted to eat it!

Unfortunately, Chen Bo had no idea that this big red pigeon had been sent by the emperor. He was already whetting his blade and coming for the bird.

Seeing Chen Bo really bring the sword down, the fire pigeon had no time to dodge before he slashed its neck clean off.

Chen Bo wiped the blood from his sword and muttered, “How strange. Why do pigeons these days not even know how to dodge? Could it be that it knew I was hungry and wanted to throw itself at me? As expected, animals don’t have nearly as many tricks. What the hell? What is this?!”

With a cry of alarm, he saw the big pigeon he had just cut down actually flap up alive and well. Its tiny bead-like eyes stared at him with profound grievance, and the wound on its neck had vanished without a trace, as if he had never struck this pigeon at all.

“Six-six-six-six-six-six-six-six-six-six-six! This eerie sight in front of me has left me with no choice but to throw out a whole bunch of sixes. Exactly how many sixes, please count for yourselves. Whoever gets the number right, I’ll acknowledge as my dad!”

“I counted it. The person above gave the streamer eleven sixes in total. Good son, hurry up and call me dad!”

“Hahahahahaha, eleven sixes in all—nine at the front and two at the end. Hurry and acknowledge me as your father!”

“Can I say that the two idiots above whose IQ clearly needs topping up definitely aren’t from my country?”

“That old a joke, and someone still fell for it?! I never expected there to be so many pure souls in the twenty-first century. Rare indeed!”

“Congratulations to the person above the person above the person above the person above the person above: you’ve become a father today, and not just once, but twice. It’s just that when those two children were born, their mother probably squeezed their heads pretty hard.”

“Hahahahahaha, somehow that was hilarious. The gag is old as dirt, but for some reason I still want to laugh out loud.”

“Aren’t you all going to pay attention to how that absurdly fat pigeon came back to life? Was it just playing dead? Its intelligence is way too high; it’s practically become a spirit.”

“What I’m thinking about isn’t that. I’m thinking: that pigeon is so fat, how the hell is it even flying? Is gravity on the Savage Continent weaker than Earth’s? Or is this fat pigeon actually not that fleshy and just has especially fluffy feathers?”

“The person above really knows how to spot the highlight! I’m giving you six hundred and sixty-six likes—an extra five hundred and sixty-six won’t even make you proud.”

“What the hell?! How can this red fat pigeon come back to life?!” Chen Bo exclaimed. This didn’t seem to make any sense! Could this pigeon actually be an unrivaled great demon with heaven-shaking power?!

No, wait. On the Savage Continent, creatures like that were apparently called primal beasts. Whatever the case, this pigeon was clearly no ordinary bird!

The fire pigeon realized that the human’s mindset was actually this good. This brat had not only hacked at it, he had also called it a fat pigeon, yet it still didn’t feel any murderous intent. Had it taken the wrong medicine today?

“Kid, you’d better take back what you just said. I am the Fire Pigeon, the famous Lord Fire of the capital!” The fire pigeon lifted its little head and flew higher, looking down at Chen Bo from above.

“Tch. Never heard of you.” Chen Bo clicked his tongue. Then he went still, as if struck by lightning, and slowly raised his head in mechanical disbelief. “You, you, you, you—you can talk?! Damn it, a pigeon can talk?”

Not only did Chen Bo freeze in shock, even the barrage in the livestream stopped for more than ten seconds.

“Can pigeons talk?”

“Probably. Maybe. Perhaps. I’m going to look it up online.”

“Exactly. When in doubt, ask the internet.”

“I’m a British ornithology expert, and I can say with certainty that pigeons do not speak! But I’m referring to pigeons on Earth; perhaps the pigeons in another world are a little different! This is very worth studying!”

“I’m back from my search. Actually, pigeons can’t talk! I’m guessing the pigeon species on the Savage Continent has a different physiological structure from Earth’s.”

“The gentleman above was a step too slow. An expert overseas has already said it before you.”

The noise in the livestream was invisible to the fire pigeon. Otherwise it would have fainted from rage. Comparing its noble bloodline to an ordinary pigeon? That was an outrage beyond measure.

“Hmph! What’s so strange about speaking? This lord knows plenty of abilities! For example, I can ignore physical attacks. For example, I can eat a thousand peanuts in one second. For example—hey, wait! Why am I telling you this?”

“Ahem. I’ll let the matter from just now pass since it’s your first offense! Aren’t you even curious why I came looking for you? Hmm? Why aren’t you speaking?”

The fire pigeon found that odd. Had this brat been scared stupid by its illustrious reputation? Hmm. That was entirely possible.

“Why would a pigeon even speak? That’s not very scientific! Could it be, could it be, could it be that this pigeon is actually a parrot in disguise?! Hahaha, that has to be it. Otherwise how could it be explained?”

The fire pigeon: “...”

Like a curious child, Chen Bo looked up and asked, “Big pigeon, are you really a parrot in disguise? How did you make your big claws so slender? And how did you grind your beak down so small? How did you dye your feathers?”

“I’ve heard parrots usually can’t fly for long, so why can you fly for so long? Are you a mutated parrot? Hahaha, that has to be it! Only a mutated parrot could have such high intelligence. You’re practically on the level of a five-year-old child.”

“You must be someone else’s pet, right? I heard parrots can’t be eaten, so I won’t eat you! Hurry home. Your owner really is something else, letting you go out alone—no, I mean, letting you go out all by yourself. By the looks of it, your owner is definitely no good bird.”

“Huh? Why did you stop talking again? Could it be you only know two or three lines? Tch. I thought you were some rare kind of parrot, but in the end you’re just ordinary stock.”

The writing block is so bad it hurts my poor brain. I need some recommendation votes to comfort my tiny, fragile heart. This week there are only a few dozen recommendation votes, and Little Bei is crying his eyes out.