Chapter Forty-Five: The Lottery

“Dear System, please, I beg you, can you give me some luck this time? My very life is in your hands. Amitabha, Infinite Celestial Lord, may the Lord bless me, Amen—though I’m not really sure what I’m praying to.” Chen Bo babbled incoherently, a fine sheen of nervous sweat breaking out on his forehead as his mouth went dry and his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.

Before long, the eight lottery wheels stopped spinning at once, and the system’s notification followed promptly: “Ding-dong! Congratulations, host, you have obtained one Vulcan Gatling Gun, with no ammunition. For specific functions and usage, please consult Baidu.”

Chen Bo’s expression shifted from joy to dismay. When he first heard the words “Vulcan Gatling,” he was so excited—this weapon was astoundingly powerful, and its greatest advantage was its rate of fire, a veritable curtain of death! In the arena, as long as no one got close to him, he’d be invincible. Of course, that only applied to those at the acquired level; if he faced an innate master, a single protective aura would be enough to deflect every bullet.

Unfortunately, the thing came without bullets! What use was it then? Was he supposed to use it as a hammer to bash people?

“Ding-dong! Congratulations, host, you have obtained ten Taizu Long Fist skill books. Taizu Long Fist is said to have been created by the founding emperor of the Great Song Dynasty. Consume all ten books to reach mastery in Taizu Long Fist immediately.”

Taizu Long Fist? This was the second martial arts manual Chen Bo had drawn, but this one was rather weak in terms of power. Still, some of its techniques for generating and dissipating force could be quite useful, so it wasn’t entirely worthless. Not a bad haul, all things considered.

“Ding-dong! Congratulations, host, you have obtained the latest model sports car. Do not touch it, because if you scratch the paint, you couldn’t afford to pay for it with your life. Note: This sports car does not come with gasoline. If the host requires fuel, please develop your own petroleum resources.”

The slight improvement in Chen Bo’s mood vanished instantly. It was the world-famous car brand from Earth—BMW! If he were still on Earth, he might at least feel a little happy. But here, in a different world, with no roads suitable for a low-slung sports car, and worst of all, the car didn’t even come with fuel! Was this a joke? What was he supposed to do with a car that couldn’t run? Harness it to a horse?

He stared wordlessly at the car taking up so much space in his system inventory.

“Ding-dong! Congratulations, host, you have obtained a Super Movie Ticket. With this ticket, you never have to pay to see a movie, no matter what it is! Surprised?”

“Pfft!” If he was speechless before, this time he actually spat out his water. What the heck was he going to do with that? There weren’t even any movie theaters in this world!

“Ding-dong! Congratulations, host, you have obtained a complete set of autographs from all of China’s A-list celebrities. This should fetch a pretty penny.”

It really would make a lot of money—if anyone here knew who these celebrities were. But on this wild continent, apart from Chen Bo himself, no one had ever heard of these stars from TV, film, or music.

“Ding-dong! Congratulations, host, you have obtained a 1950s sewing machine.”

A sewing machine? What the hell was he supposed to do with that? Was he supposed to change careers and become a textile worker, leading the fashion trends of a primitive continent? Don’t make him laugh. He had better things to do.

Six items had appeared, and aside from Taizu Long Fist, Chen Bo had yet to draw anything genuinely useful. The Vulcan Gatling was worthless without ammo, little more than a fancy club, and it didn’t even feel right as a hammer. The sports car? Without gasoline, it was scrap metal—at most, he could cannibalize the interior, maybe salvage the leather seats and their built-in massage system. The movie ticket? Of these six items, it was hands down the most useless—even using it as toilet paper would be uncomfortable; its only purpose would be to fold paper airplanes. The autograph collection? Only good for collecting, really. Still, a few of the actresses had been his dream goddesses for years, so at least that fulfilled a fantasy. The sewing machine? He didn’t even know how to use it. Good heavens, could his luck get any worse? Chen Bo gazed wordlessly at the ceiling, his eyes brimming with tears that refused to fall, staring up at a forty-five degree angle.

“Just two more left. Please, be good to me! Great Sage Equal to Heaven, bless me! Marshal Tianpeng, bless me! Golden Cicada, bless me! Curtain-Lifting General, bless me! That White Dragon King from who knows which sea, bless me! Erlang Deity, bless me! Patriarch Bodhi, bless me! Buddha himself, bless me! All you mighty beings out there, throw a little luck on this poor wretch!”

He’d practically prayed to every deity under the sun. Anyone who didn’t know better and saw him muttering and flailing about would have thought he was possessed or performing some shamanic dance.

“He’s lost it. The streamer’s gone mad. What should we do? Should we call emergency services?”

“No, I still think one bottle of medicated oil would snap him out of it. I happened to buy a case yesterday for my husband.”

“That's pretty hardcore, but medicated oil isn’t strong enough. Mix it with all kinds—medicated balm, floral oil, wind-dispelling oil, chili water—blend it into something long and round. Only then will the streamer wake up and maybe even get high!”

“You sound like a pro. Bet you do this all the time.”

“Good Leisure tips the streamer 9,999 gold coins. Ah, it’s been ages since I popped up—this stream’s style has changed so much, it’s downright raunchy. Terrifying! Where’s my loyal little sidekick?”

“Dumb Bookworm tips the streamer 6,666 gold coins. Dumb as a post, cute as can be—the little bookworm is here! Dad gave me some pocket money today, so I’m giving the streamer a big tip.”

“Mu Li tips the streamer 2,333 gold coins. Leisure, Bookworm, your favorite Mu Li is here! Hahaha!”

“Sugar tips the streamer 9,527 gold coins. Finished exams, finally free! Mu Li, long time no see—I’ve missed you.”

“Bangbang tips the streamer 666 gold coins. All these tycoons above run in the same circle, it’s terrifying. Just popping up for a second—don’t drag me out! Don’t drag me out! Don’t drag me out! Important things need to be said three times!”

“He Beifang tips the streamer 988 gold coins. Bangbang, how many innocent little boys have you corrupted today?”

“Bangbang tips the streamer 5 gold coins. Not as many as you, He!”

“Good Leisure tips the streamer 233 gold coins. Damn! Bangbang, if you’ve got guts, don’t run. Meet me in the woods tomorrow night! Bring your own protection, and don’t forget the lubricant.”

The stream chat was utterly ignored by Chen Bo. This time, the system gave him some face, waiting until he’d finished his litany of prayers before announcing, “Ding-dong! Congratulations, host, you have obtained ten Huashan School Basic Swordsmanship manuals. Consume all ten to automatically master the Huashan School’s Basic Swordsmanship.”