Chapter 29: Sexy Dealer, Succubus Online
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“Your little gimmick is useless.”
Liu Zheng stared at the chips before him.
Half an hour had passed, and he had earned only five hundred yuan.
To put it bluntly, what good was that supposed to do?
“Obviously, you’re just too unlucky. Even the Joker card couldn’t save you.”
Ox-Horse stubbornly refused to admit defeat.
“This won’t do.”
Liu Zheng shook his head and rose to his feet.
“What are you going to do?” Ox-Horse asked hurriedly.
“Try a different kind of gambling.”
Liu Zheng looked around, then walked toward a poker table.
“Do you even know how to play?” Ox-Horse asked suspiciously.
“Texas hold ’em? I’ve played plenty.”
He spoke with confidence, then dropped into an empty seat, directly opposite the dealer.
The dealer raised its head and glanced at him. A trace of greed flickered in its yellow, vertical pupils, and a strand of drool slipped from the corner of its scaled mouth.
“Can I file a complaint against it?” Liu Zheng asked, pointing at the dealer.
“What would the gentleman like to complain about?” the dealer asked.
Its voice carried a strange, hissing undertone.
“You’re drooling at me. I consider that sexual harassment.”
He spoke with righteous indignation.
“You misunderstand, sir.” The dealer gave a dry laugh. “I have no interest in mating with humans. I merely want to eat your flesh.”
“Hahahaha!”
The other gamblers burst into laughter, some mocking him, others clearly harboring ill intentions.
“I don’t care what you think. I care what I think.”
Liu Zheng waved his hand, treating their laughter as though it did not exist.
“Can I complain about it?” he asked Ox-Horse again.
“You can, I suppose.”
Ox-Horse scratched its head.
“Fine. You”—Liu Zheng pointed at a passing attendant—“go call your manager over.”
“Me?”
The jellyfish-headed attendant pointed at itself.
“Yes, you. Hurry up, or I’ll complain about you too.”
Liu Zheng’s tone was deadly serious.
“There’s no need for that, sir. Don’t forget, you’ll have to leave eventually.”
The dealer wore a cold, sinister smile.
“Who the hell are you threatening?”
Before Liu Zheng could say anything, Ox-Horse exploded in anger.
“Come on, right now! Step outside and settle this with me. Whoever backs down was born to a mother!”
It rose onto its hind legs, its swelling shadow engulfing the dealer entirely.
The fact that Ox-Horse acted meek and submissive before Oink did not mean just anyone could throw punches at it.
“I apologize. I was too loud. How would you like to resolve this?”
A flash of fury crossed the dealer’s face before it spoke.
“You decide.”
Ox-Horse lifted its chin toward Liu Zheng.
“Bring us both a drink, then get us a new dealer,” he said.
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“Of course. May fortune favor you both.”
The dealer spoke stiffly, then left the table.
At some point, the laughter of the other gamblers had also fallen silent.
A minute later, an attendant brought them two glasses of whiskey.
The new dealer arrived as well: a female succubus.
She was, in a word, spectacular.
All right, Liu Zheng had no time to admire her face.
“Handsome, I just started my shift today. Please don’t complain about me.”
The succubus dealer winked at him.
“That depends on how you deal the cards.”
Liu Zheng’s reply was icy.
“How about dealing them like this?”
The succubus slipped a card between her two breasts, then bent forward.
“You’re sexually harassing me. I’ll forgive you this time, but don’t do it again.”
He reached in and plucked out the card.
“Then thank you, handsome.”
The succubus giggled sweetly, a strange glimmer flashing through her eyes.
Not just anyone was allowed to touch her breasts, yet this human had somehow remained completely unaffected.
“Deal the cards,” Liu Zheng urged.
He did not have much time left.
“All right.”
The succubus opened a fresh deck and dealt each player two hole cards in turn.
Liu Zheng turned over his cards. They were a pair of nines—one club and one diamond.
How should he put it? Not good, but not bad.
They were weaker than premium hands such as pocket aces, pocket kings, or ace-king and king-queen of the same suit, but better than unpaired hands or low pairs.
He glanced around at the other gamblers, then frowned.
When playing Texas hold ’em, reading one’s opponents’ expressions was an important skill.
But that skill was difficult to use here. Some of the gamblers did not even have faces.
“Ox-Horse, smash my face in.”
Liu Zheng suddenly spoke.
“What?”
Ox-Horse stared at him in bewilderment.
“Hurry up. Don’t you want to win money?”
“When did you start ordering me around?”
Ox-Horse grumbled, then kicked him in the face.
It judged the force perfectly. Liu Zheng’s face was ruined, but his eyes and brain remained unharmed.
He snorted two clots of blood from his mangled nostrils and tossed out a white chip.
“Raise!”
“Right off the bat?”
Ox-Horse was startled. It nearly reached out with a hoof to scrape the chip back.
“Pocket aces aren’t enough for you? If you can’t play, then lie down.”
Liu Zheng was entirely without mercy.
“Are you asking to get beaten?”
Ox-Horse’s eyes bulged wide.
“And what the hell do you mean, pocket aces? You’ve got pocket nines!”
Everyone’s attention turned toward them—the dealer’s and the gamblers’ alike.
Were these two here to perform comedy or to gamble?
Did they even know how to play?
“I fold.”
The dog-headed gambler sitting beside Liu Zheng thought for a moment, then threw away his cards.
“I fold.”
“I fold.”
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“I fold.”
Of the six players, four chose to fold.
The remaining eel-headed gambler glanced at his hole cards once more, then sneered at Liu Zheng.
“Have we met before?”
He narrowed his eyes.
The eel-head said nothing, merely continuing to sneer.
“I remember now. I almost didn’t recognize you with your clothes off.”
Realization dawned on Liu Zheng.
When he had delivered the first order, this fellow had bitten off a piece of his flesh.
Today, it was not wearing its security uniform. Its long, slender eel head grew directly from its chest cavity, making it look like a swaying flower arrangement.
“Your flesh is delicious.”
The eel-head finally spoke, slowly and mockingly.
“Thanks. You don’t look bad yourself. Once I win your underwear too, I’ll swallow that dead-fish head of yours in one bite.”
Liu Zheng spoke with complete seriousness.
“Deal the cards.”
He tossed a yellow chip to the succubus dealer.
“What a generous boss.”
The succubus tucked the chip into her neckline and gave Liu Zheng a syrupy smile.
After the opening bet came the flop: three community cards.
The ace of hearts, the five of clubs, and the king of hearts.
“Handsome, it’s your turn to speak.”
The succubus dealer smiled.
“With three aces, what else is there to say? I raise you.”
Liu Zheng pushed forward his remaining five white chips.
“I have an ace. I don’t believe you.”
The eel-head stared at him for a long while before speaking slowly.
“If you don’t believe me, then call.”
Liu Zheng leaned back, using a tentacle to lift his whiskey to his mouth.
“That’s enough. He has a pair of aces, and you’ve got a pair of nines. Why the hell are you calling?”
Ox-Horse tried to persuade him.
“Keep undermining me and I’ll go all-in right now.”
Liu Zheng glared at it.
“You dare?”
Ox-Horse slapped the table and sprang to its feet.
“He has a heavenly—”
It opened its mouth to shout.
“All right, all right! Three aces, then. Three aces.”
Ox-Horse clamped a hoof over its mouth.
“Blegh! Blegh! Blegh!”
Liu Zheng spat furiously.
That bastard’s hoof reeked of a complex stench like a corpse.
“Come on. I’ve waited so long the flowers have already withered.”
He rinsed his mouth with whiskey and urged them on.
“I fold.”
The eel-head squeezed its hole cards, but finally gave up.
“Tch. Lucky you ran fast. Ladies and gentlemen, behold—three aces!”
Liu Zheng gathered up his hole cards and slammed them onto the table.
The pair of nines landed one atop the other, like two people locked in the great harmony of life.
“Oh. Turns out they aren’t aces after all. My apologies, my apologies.”
Grinning broadly, he swept the chips toward himself.
He paid no attention whatsoever to the murderous stares of the other gamblers.
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