Chapter 049: Teasing

After a while, Crooked Carrot Stick couldn’t help but ask, “Brother Li, what should our next move be?”

In Crooked Carrot Stick’s eyes, Thunder Dragon would always be stuck as the reckless youth, while the real leader of the alliance was Brother Li—Thunder Dragon was nothing but a figurehead. So when he spoke, he didn’t bother with Thunder Dragon’s feelings at all and directed his question straight at Li Zhan.

Li Zhan, however, saw Thunder Dragon differently than Crooked Carrot Stick did. Li Zhan had never held any particular prejudice against him, and during Thunder Dragon’s tenure as alliance leader, his dedication and diligence had left a good impression. Li Zhan felt that, apart from being blunt and not particularly quick-witted, Thunder Dragon actually had quite a few virtues. So, when Crooked Carrot Stick asked his question, Li Zhan deliberately spoke in a way that gave Thunder Dragon some dignity.

“For now, let’s watch and see how things develop. Still, everyone should keep Alliance Leader Lei’s words in mind—once you return, make sure to tidy up your respective territories. Whether it’s tribes on the border or those deeper inland, if you don’t have wooden palisades, build them at once. Try to have at least ten militia members ready in every tribe, and be prepared for Alliance Leader Lei’s orders at any time.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. Thunder Dragon, hearing Li Zhan’s words, felt a surge of gratitude and pride, and his eyes showed newfound appreciation for Li Zhan.

The group lingered a while longer, eating and drinking before dispersing to their own affairs. Before leaving, everyone added Li Zhan and Thunder Dragon as friends to facilitate contact in case of emergencies.

After settling the bill, Li Zhan left the tavern, with Crooked Carrot Stick following closely behind, insisting that last time he’d been too unwell to chat and this time, no matter what, he wanted to have a proper conversation with Brother Li.

Li Zhan rather liked Crooked Carrot Stick, finding him honest and fiercely upright. Though he could be a bit talkative at times, at least he was kind-hearted. The two walked and talked, heading straight for the marketplace.

Li Zhan didn’t bother using the friend function to ask where Ruoyan was, as he knew she could only be at one of two places—either selling dye vats or tailoring tools, and those two stalls weren’t far apart. Once inside the bustling market, the conversation shifted to commodity prices, and in no time, they arrived at the stall selling tailoring tools.

Scanning the crowd, Li Zhan quickly spotted Ruoyan. She stood not far away, gazing into the distance with a look suggesting she’d spotted someone familiar but wasn’t entirely sure.

Li Zhan led Crooked Carrot Stick over and waved a hand in front of Ruoyan’s eyes. She started, then playfully smacked his hand. Li Zhan smiled and turned to introduce Crooked Carrot Stick.

Crooked Carrot Stick exchanged pleasantries with Ruoyan, all the while quietly astonished that Brother Li had such an exceptionally beautiful assistant at his side. While Li Zhan and Ruoyan were busy checking their purchases, Crooked Carrot Stick secretly messaged Li Zhan using the friend function:

“Brother Li, you’re truly blessed! With such beauty at your side, the envy of all!”

Li Zhan was organizing the tailoring tools when he saw the friend icon blinking; thinking it might be a call for help from Muyu, he opened it at once. When he saw the message, he shot Crooked Carrot Stick—who was grinning broadly—a glare and replied curtly:

“Don’t talk nonsense, Ruoyan and I are just friends.”

Crooked Carrot Stick didn’t believe it for a second and immediately replied, “Come now, Brother Li, that’s not how it works. There’s a saying: there’s no such thing as a purely platonic friendship between a man and a woman. There are always a few little secrets between the two. As for what secrets you and Miss Ruo share… if you’re too embarrassed to tell me, I’ll just have to guess for myself.”

Li Zhan’s face instantly turned purple. He hadn’t expected Crooked Carrot Stick to be so sharp-tongued. Ruoyan had already noticed that something odd was going on between the two, and now she couldn’t help but ask Li Zhan, “What’s wrong? You look like someone’s got you by the throat.”

Before Li Zhan could answer, Crooked Carrot Stick piped up with exaggerated cheer, “Oh, it’s nothing. Brother Li and I were just discussing something—something not fit for public ears.”

With that, he winked at Li Zhan several times under Ruoyan’s puzzled gaze, as if they were exchanging secret signals. Li Zhan was fuming inside.

Crooked Carrot Stick’s antics only made Ruoyan more curious and a little mischievous. She turned to Li Zhan and threatened, “If you don’t want bruises on your face, you’d better tell me exactly what you two were saying, or else…”

As she spoke, Ruoyan ran her well-manicured fingers across her nails and shot Li Zhan a cold glance.

Clearly, silence wouldn’t help anymore. Li Zhan coughed and said, “Honestly, it’s really not something I should tell you…”

Ruoyan was having none of it and cut him off. “Enough with the act—just spill it!”

Li Zhan glanced behind Ruoyan at Crooked Carrot Stick, who was just waiting for him to slip up, barely able to keep from laughing out loud. Returning his gaze to Ruoyan, Li Zhan put on a thoroughly honest expression and said, “If you really want to know, I’ll tell you. Crooked Carrot Stick’s hemorrhoids were acting up, and he asked me if I knew any remedies. I told him there was a folk cure—stick an ice pomegranate up there and let it melt naturally, three times a day, every—”

“All right, all right, you two go on talking, I—I have something to do over there,” Ruoyan said, blushing fiercely and hurrying away before Li Zhan could finish his outrageous tale.

Back in middle school, the biology class had covered the causes and dangers of hemorrhoids in great detail, but Ruoyan never imagined that two grown men would be whispering about such an embarrassing topic. Mortified, she didn’t even stop to wonder if Li Zhan’s odd expression or that so-called remedy made any sense—she just fled.

Meanwhile, Crooked Carrot Stick stood frozen, staring at Li Zhan with a look of utter defeat. He could only force a bitter smile, feeling as if he’d swallowed a mouthful of bitter medicine. He swore silently that he’d never again joke about Brother Li and Ruoyan—who knew what kind of label Li Zhan would stick on him next? This time it was hemorrhoids; next time, would it be a fissure?

The mere thought sent a cold sweat running down his spine.